


Care

by TheGeniusCallsYou



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (1963)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Post-Serial: s054 Inferno, Pre Ashes of the Inferno (short novel), Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-04-21 01:29:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14273994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGeniusCallsYou/pseuds/TheGeniusCallsYou
Summary: „What’s wrong with you, Doctor?”„Wrong with me? There’s nothing wrong with me, Lethbridge-Stewart.”„Doctor, I haven’t been born yesterday and even if I’m not as old as you claim to be, I’m not blind. as you often like to remind me, I’m a soldier and I can recognise trauma when I see one.”After the events of "Inferno" the Doctor is not okay. The Brigadier notices.





	Care

**Author's Note:**

> All mistakes are mine, I've checked for them but some will always escape me and I'm sorry for them in advance.

Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart made final annotations in his last raport and finally closed it. It had been a long day, with Liz Shaw handing in her resignation and going back to Cambridge on top of other things. There was also the case of the Doctor. Since he had come back from that parallel Earth, or so he had claimed, he didn’t seem like himself. Lost in thoughts, distracted, more irritated and with that look in his eyes when he watched all of them and believed no one could notice. As if he was seeing completely different people. What also worried the Brigadier was the Doctor’s reactions when he walked into his lab. Alistair had never knocked and it never had bothered the Time Lord before, but lately he flinched almost every time it had happened. Just the other day, the Brigadier had walked in to ask some advice regarding the scientific aperture and caught the alien visibly flinching or not meeting his eyes. He had decided to let it slide, but he realised now that it hadn’t been the first time it had happened. It all had started on that day. To add to that, there was this „Brigade Leader” stuff. That’s how the Doctor had called him upon waking up and it had happened again today while arguing. Something was eating the Doctor up. Alistair massaged his neck and looked at the clock then winced. It was late. Fiona wouldn’t be happy again. Yet, even before he finished this line of thought he was getting up. Whatever was going on with the Doctor it couldn’t continue. It had been long enough and well - If the mountain would not come to Mahomet, Mahomet must go to the mountain. With that in mind, he opened his drawer. 

 

The Doctor was sitting in his lab lost in thoughts. Liz had left two days ago and it was harder to find a distraction for his wandering mind. The things he had seen were still too vivid. When he closed his eyes… He shook his head, trying to clean it. It was to no avail. He even had to turn his bunsen burner off, the flame triggered his memories a little too much.  
So there he sat in half-lighted room, elbows resting on the table as he rubbed his lower lip with his thumb and index finger for who knew how long, when suddenly something was placed loudly next to him. He jumped slightly, not expecting any noise and realised that there were now two glasses lying on the table next to him. He furrowed his eyebrows and twisted to the side to meet with a gray uniform. A gray uniform that ended with Lethbridge-Stewart’s face when he lifted his gaze high enough to see it. As soon as it did tho, for a moment he saw someone else’s face. So different but similar at the same time. _Then you won’t feel the bullets when we shoot you._ He quickly averted his eyes, masking it by clearing his throat. That’s why, he didn’t catch the brief flash of hurt in Alistair’s eyes. The Doctor picked up some papers and started scribbling equations. 

„Shouldn’t you be at home at this point, Brigadier?” He asked not looking up. The numbers didn’t make any sense but the other man didn’t need to know that. 

„Probably.”

„Then why aren’t you?” He still didn’t look up and continued writing. He could hear the bottle being opened and then the glasses being filled.

„Because, Doctor, I seem to be needed elsewhere,” Alistair closed the bottle and left it on the table, „and I know enough maths to know, that what you’re writing is complete gibberish.”

The Doctor’s hand above the paper stilled. He turned to look up at the other man and noticed he had that pleased half smile of his on his face. Yet he didn’t say a thing, just passed the filled glass to the Time Lord who accepted it looking somewhat apologetic. None of them took a sip. The Doctor was looking at the liquid in his glass, again lost in thoughts and the Brigadier sighed. The alien could be so stubborn sometimes. 

„What’s wrong with you, Doctor?” He finally asked. The Time Lord looked offended for a moment. Offended or defencive, it was hard to distinguish between those two things when it came to him.

„Wrong with me? There’s nothing wrong with me, Lethbridge-Stewart.” Lord give him patience, it was like dealing with Kate, when she had been 3 and broken her ankle but refused to say so. 

„Doctor, I haven’t been born yesterday and even if I’m not as old as you claim to be, I’m not blind. As you often like to remind me, I’m a soldier and I can recognise trauma when I see one.” The alien seemed to be muling over it, stirring the alcohol in his glass. Alistair waited for a couple more moments before deciding for more action. He put his glass on the table.

„We can sit here and not say a word, but it doesn't change a fact that you're most certainly not fine,” he said as he dragged the other stool from under the table and sat on it facing the Time Lord.

„You wouldn’t believe me even if I told you,” the alien huffed and turned so he wasn’t facing Alistair. 

„I doesn’t matter if I believe it or not, what does is that you do.” He answered swiftly, leaning on his left elbow, searching the Doctor’s profile for answers. „It affected you enough to be more distracted, irritable-”

„Irritable?!” The Doctor turned to finally face the Brigadier.

„- And you won’t meet my eyes most of the time we’re talking,” Alistair finished and watched with satisfaction as the Time Lord seemed to finally understand. He let the Doctor think over all of it but there was one last thing to mention. He took a deep breath and scolded his features. „There’s also one more thing,Doctor,” the alien looked up and Alistair asked unbelievably softly for him, „who’s this Brigade Leader?” The Brigadier watched as storm of emotions past through the Time Lord’s face and then he turned and grabbed his glass with both hands.

„Was,” he said quietly after a moment.

„Pardon?” 

„Was, he’s dead, Brigadier. They all are.” The Doctor took a first sip from his glass. „They’re dead and I couldn’t help them. They died in fear and screams and flames. The whole word...burned to the ground,” Another swing from the glass, a bigger one this time and the glass was empty. Alistair opened the bottle.

„You’re not a God, Doctor,” he said while refilling the glass. „sometimes, you do everything that’s in your power but it’s still not enough.” The Time Lord shook his head.

„They just wouldn’t listen. I’ve warned them but they still wouldn’t listen.” The Brigadier took a swig from his own glass. They almost didn’t too. „I’ve tried to warn them but Brigade Leader… that pompous -” 

„- Self-opinionated idiot?” The Doctor’s head whipped abruptly towards Alistair. The man smiled faintly but it didn’t reach his eyes. „You’ve called me ‚Brigade Leader’ more times than it could pass as a slip, Doctor.” He briefly looked at his glass and back to the alien. „He was me, wasn’t he? And not a very nice fellow I gather?”

The Doctor looked and him for a moment and then let out a tired breath.

„He wasn’t you, Brigadier, not really. Well, he was, but wasn’t. It’s a little complicated, you see?”

„Hmm, yes.” Alistair took a swing from his glass. 

„And to answer your next question, Lethbridge-Stewart - he was spineless, murderous, sociopathic fascist, so no, not a nice fellow. Clean shaven, scar across his cheek and an eyepatch instead of his left eye.” The Brigadier looked up at the Doctor startled. That description… he didn’t know why but it triggered something in his mind. Something from his past. He could almost grab it. A boy in his teens looking like him yet he wasn’t… but as soon as the memory had appeared it was gone. The Doctor wasn’t looking at him so he didn’t catch the confused look on Alistair’s face. The man cleared his throat and purred himself another glass.

„What did he do to you, Doctor?”

_Name?! Who sent you here?! When did you first became a traitor?!_

„He didn't listen,” the Time Lord answer without hesitation. Alistair shook his head.

„So did I on many occasions and that’s not it.”

The Doctor sighed and turned towards the Brigadier.

_He’ll talk, eventually._

„Tell me, Lethbridge-Stewart, what part of spineless, murderous, sociopathic fascist needs more clearing up to you?” Alistair watched the Doctor closely searching his eyes. Then raised his glass.

„I’m sorry.”

„Sorry? You didn’t do a thing.” The Doctor answered surprised but the Brigadier wasn’t looking at him, just shrugged his shoulders.

„If we weren’t somewhat similar, you wouldn’t confuse us that easily.”

„That’s not how it works, Brigadier. Think of him as your twin brother if you like. The core is the same but you’re vastly different people, thanks to the circumstances. You have your faults but you most certainly aren’t a sadist nor any other thing that the Brigade Leader was.” He fully believed that to be the truth. The Doctor raised his glass to drink from it. He could see the Brigadier smiling faintly. 

„Then why?” He asked and the Doctor knew what he ment. That was the difficult part. He really didn’t know how to explain this. From the beginning probably.

„I was mad at you, after the Silurians,” he started and waved his hand, seeing Alistair opening his mouth to interrupt, „I couldn’t understood how you could make that decision… now, I kind of do.” 

„Doctor, if you didn’t get back, we probably wouldn’t be having this conversation,” the Brigadier cut it after taking a sip from the glass.

„So you do believe I traveled to the parallel universe, now?” The Brigadier shook his head and put his glass on the table. As suspected, the Time Lord grimaced.

„I don’t know what to believe, Doctor. You sure traveled somewhere, that’s certain. Parallel universe? Evil doppelgangers? I’m not saying it didn’t happen, I do trust that you’re the same man I met few years back in the underground after all, but it’s a lot to take in.”

The Doctor nodded and then debated if he should say anything more. He looked at the man sitting beside him and had an instant flashback to a body falling to the floor. 

_I’ll give you until three!_

The alien winced. Well, now or never.

„I saw you die. Well, not you you, Brigadier, the Brigade Leader, that is. Just before I left.” Alistair nodded his head.

„How?”

„He tried to stop me, wanted me to take him with me. The Other Liz shot him in the back.” 

Alistair swallowed then raised his glass.

„I will drink to that, if he appeared here, I would shot him myself.” The Doctor looked at the other man surprised and felt something warm inside his chest. Was it gratitude? He smiled but it faded as quickly as it appeared. 

„I know, I can be difficult at times -”

„- Good to know it got seeing me dead for you to realise that,” the Brigadier interrupted with a cheeky smirk. The Doctor looked at him annoyed.

„Could you be a little more cooperative for once, Lethbridge-Stewart? That’s not the point, you also can be difficult - your attitude doesn’t help, but what I try say, no, what I need to say- ” the Brigadier looked amused for a moment then held his hand up to stop the Doctor’s ramblings. He knew what the Time Lord was getting at and he appreciate it.

„Doctor, one more word and I will dare to think you care.” There it was. That half smile of his, as if he knew everything without it being said. Maybe this time he did. The Doctor wasn’t good at words, especially when it came to apologising or stuff like that. He visibly relaxed. He also understood what Alistair ment.  
The Brigadier watched the Doctor closely and it seemed that talking helped him a little. He looked at the clock above the door and inwardly grimased.

„Now, I’m afraid, I must be going. My wife will kill me as it is.” Oh yes, Fiona would be thrilled at the hour of his arrival. Alistair was already looking forward to the next quarrel. He got back to his fit, straightening his uniform and was surprised to see the Time Lord getting up as well. „Doctor?” He asked confused.

„Well, Brigadier, we’ve drunk some of this fine brandy of yours,” ‚fine’ was an exaggeration but he would say that. The alien moved to retrieve his cape, „you’re not thinking about driving, are you, my dear fellow?” 

„And what do you have to do with it?” The Brigadier still looked at him dumbfounded. That part, he didn’t think through.

„I’ll drop you off,” the Doctor answered without missing a bit.

„Doctor, I think that ‚we’ part in drinking is a key,” the Time Lord just padded his chest.

„Two hearts. Faster metabolism.” As if that answered everything. Alistair decided not to question it. He took his hat from the table.

„I need to get the briefcase from my office,” the Doctor nodded at that.

„Don’t worry, dear chap. Me and Bessie will wait.”

The Brigadier was near the door when he hesitated. 

„Doctor?” He waited for the Time Lord to turn around. „Will you all right?” The alien put his hands in coat pockets and smiled a sincerely.

„I will be, Brigadier, I will be.”

The soldier nodded at that and left to get his things. Well, No matter how many fights they had or would have there was no denying two things now: the Doctor cared. And so did the Brigadier.

**Author's Note:**

> I seem to have a thing for Doctor&Brig drinking while resolving their issues... Hope you enjoyed it and if so, please leave a comment if you can spare a moment - I would love to hear your thoughts! If not, kudos are welcomed to :)
> 
> *The Part about the Brig remembering a boy that looked like him is a reference to a story "Schizoid Earth" from Lethbridge-Stewart series, from which "Ashes of the Inferno" also comes from. I highly recommend it as it's a great read!


End file.
